Where did you get a picture of my penis
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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