Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
