You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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