We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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