that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
