Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
