i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
