I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
