All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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