About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
