i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
