brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
