so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
