totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
