Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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