I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you still have your period?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
