I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
