Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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