i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
false alarm, still single
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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