Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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