my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I supernannyed him into submission
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
