I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Randomize
