Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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