Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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