Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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