I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
