If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
