she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
