broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
