My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
