My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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