Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
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