You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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