Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
