Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Kiss
Puke
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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