Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
