Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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