I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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