how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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