Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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