Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
