i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
