4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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