my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
