and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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