nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
