Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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