There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize