I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
