are you still at the devil's house?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
